“Where did my fire go? Enthusiasm? Determination? Where did my goal stomping energy go? The strong drive that used to make me jump out of bed in the morning… Where did it go?” I pondered intensely to myself.
It is weird for me, to have these thoughts.
It is a Saturday afternoon here in Vegas. Unusually grey outside with a steady rain drumming my window.
What is even more odd, is the fact that I lay here on my bed feeling gloomy, lacking energy. Feeling hollow. Almost as though I was nonexistent.
Running your body right into the ground is a rugged thought.
Little did I know that my gogogo mentality, strict vegan diet, morning runs, juice fasting, double workouts, raw cleanses, be involved in everything pattern, was exhausting my adrenal glands to the max.
My body tried to tell me though, I just wouldn’t listen. It told me daily with an overwhelmed feeling of exhaustion and irritability. It declared its anger through weight gain and crazy cravings. It talked, removing my menstruation for well over a year. Drowsy days and alert nights. There were times when I felt like my digestion simply stopped. These are all signs of wacked out hormones…. but nope, I literally let myself hit rock bottom before I sought help. (Ohhh the joys of being a stubborn ass.)
And rock bottom I did hit. I didn’t even make it to my car when the tears started to flow. “Whaaaat have you been doing?” is all my massage therapist could say when she placed her hands on my back. I kept thinking about this.
What had I been doing? “Why am I so wound up & tense, what the f is wrong with me?” I sobbed to my mom when my world came crashing down. (Not an exaggeration. My poor mom.) She gave me advice, like always, but this time more stern. I had to go to the doctor.
Last time I went to the doctor, it was about a year ago. I didn’t have the best experience. Wishy washy “You may have PCOS you may not, there is nothing we can do if you have it. Do you want a prescription?” Needless to say I walked out that day and never went back. I have always been the type to consider myself fine under all circumstances. To finally admit that I needed help was a big step.
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This time around, I reached out to my holistic group and got a doctor recommendation. A chiropractor that specializes in hormones and allergies. As i poured out how I felt, he instantly advised me that it sounds like an adrenal problem, but we would have to take a test to make sure. Adrenal problem, hmm, never heard of it.
That night, I got home and researched up and down. The more i read, the more i couldn’t believe it. I would have bet everything I owned on the fact that my adrenal glands were exhausted, and I wasn’t surprised the next day when he told me I had stage three adrenal exhaustion.
So, what did I do? I moped. For about 4 days. How long is this going to take to fix? Why me? I thought I was so damn healthy? I did everything I could to be healthy. I don’t have time for this… but I eventually got it together. This was my situation. What was I going to do…
You know that fight? Ya, I still have it. Its in there somewhere. So I created a plan of action compiled from all of the articles I read and youtube videos I watched. I reached out to many other women whom have gone through it for support.
It was time to rebuild and repair. Knowing what is wrong brings me serious amounts of joy.
I have a plan & I look forward to sharing my journey.
Let a new chapter begin…